Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Watch out where you put that sausage...

So, the holy month of Ramadan has begun. For those f you who don't know, Ramadan is a month of fasting(from sunrise to sunset) for muslims. The penalty for eating in public(at least here) is imprisonment. No longer can I drink a cup of coffee at starbucks in the middle of the day. If I drink coffee at all I will have to be covert. Straws are very useful.

Once the sun has set an evening of feasting and partying is order. Tables are filled with traditional Ramadn food eaten for centuries. Last night however, I found a not so traditional Ramadan food: pizza. This doesn't seem too abnormal. At first glance our Ramadan Pizza seems like any other stuffed crust mushroom pizza. Stuffed crust?!?!? I thought we had ordered mushroom and sausage. Perhaps they had just mixed up our order. A hundred other people probably ordered at the same time. On closer inspection however, there seemed to be something wrong with the cheese. An investigation was definately in order.

I soon realized what had happened. The dusgustingly springy jelly-like mass in my crust was not cheese. I took a nibble and spat it out. It burned my tounge. Yup, not cheese. The guys at pizza hut had given us exactly what we had ordered... it's just they put the sausage in the crust. This came as a shock to me. But maybe I am just behind the times. Perhaps it has been too long since I've eaten pizza. No, I think not. It is simply an attempt by imperialistic Americans to cause death to thousands of muslims. How? After fasting all day one would be hungry enough to eat anything, even the sausage crust of a deformed pizza. That is where the catch is. The burning sensation it caused on my tounge leads me to beleive that this sausage contains high amounts of some sort of toxin, perhaps iocane powder. Needless to say this could be fatal to the thousand of muslims coming home famished and willing to eat whatever is set in front of them. Yep, definitely a conspiracy.


Blogger WithPeppermint said...

You are not safe.

11:51 AM  

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