Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Why isn't there anything happy to write about?

I wrote this post on Oct. 8th but never got around to posting it until now:

Unfortunately the only thing I have to write about right now is pretty depressing. Two days ago a doctor and his family who work at a local hospital were driving home from the airport(2 hrs away) and were in a car accident. Both parents were killed instantly but their children survived. The girl is seven while the little boy is only three. They were all taken to a hospital(in the airport town) and the kids were left alone pretty much the whole night. Doctors and nurses tried telling them that their parents would be all right but the little boy just kept saying, "Mommy isn't coming back; she wasn't breathing and had a cut on her head." It breaks my heart just hearing about it.

My mom and the CEO of the hospital here went and got the kids yesterday and brought them home. They are currently staying at their house with the CEO until the Grandma comes from the US. I went over to their house today and brought my kittens for them to play with. I talked and played with them and tried to do whatever I could. The girl started showing me some papers she had and she brought out a note to one of her parents that she had written some time before. On it was Psalm 23:
1 A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. 3 He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name's sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
I almost broke into tears when I saw it. The words seem so hollow, so empty. Here are these two children whose won't get to have their parents at their graduation or wedding. Where is God in all of this? I wanted to grab them and hold on tight and take away the pain. I look into their eyes and see the sadness, but I can't do anything except be near and listen whenever they feel like talking. I try so hard to believe in a just and loving God but some days it seems ridiculous. What "Higher Purpose" is there in these kids growing up without their parents? It makes me want to scream. I know that none of this is God's fault... but it is so much easier to blame Him.

I was talking to the girl and since they are both going back to America soon she gave me a bracelet she made so I would remember her and I gave her a little toy I had. I promised to write her a letter.

Why is this world so messed up? I hate it. I see no good, no master plan. All I see is death and destruction. It makes me sick. I can't even do anything to stop it. Did spending time with the kids help them at all? I dunno, maybe a little.

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